The Skateful Dead travelled through rolling hills to the flat plains of Oakwood, Ontario, to go toe-stop to toe-stop (and sometimes elbow to face…oops) with the Peterborough Jamazons. It was a crowd-pleasing match, with the lead flipping like a stack of slam cakes.
The Jamazons were hard-hitting and some kind of fierce, knocking the Dead jammers out of bounds like cooked spaghetti and executing perfect strategy to force jammer cutting penalties. It took the Dead jammers a few jams to figure out how to penetrate the Jamazons’ formidable green wall of death, consisting of seasoned skaters Lucid Lou, Jaxalottapus, Lemon Tart, and MVP blocker Iggy Popper.
By the seventh jam, the Dead had a 24-point deficit, and while the scoreboard said they were down, they were never out. It was time to rise from the Dead. “Twenty-four points is nothing,” declared Boney L’ass, before stealing an outside-line pick meant for the opposing jammer and scooping points to narrow the gap. Caume-a-Kazi, in her fluid jamming style, followed suit by gliding by on the outside line on one foot to seize the lead, while Dead blockers Coop du Jour, Booty on Duty, The General, and No’Tori’ous Knockout held the Jamazon jammer. Game on.
The Jamazon’s jammers were forces to be reckoned with, too. MVP jammer Crazy Mama zigzagged across the track like a lightning bolt, and Pip Tatters stopped hearts everywhere when she jumped the apex at the first of the final whistles to steal four points from the Dead.
Undeterred, the Dead’s tornado walls recycled relentlessly, forcing the Jamazons to fight for every inch of track real estate. At any one time, fifty percent of Dead blockers were skating backwards so they could look those Jamazons right in the eye and watch for their own jammer, as Frigger Skater did, when she grabbed the front of CM Tower’s shirt and whipped her clear out of the pack. The shirt-whip was born.
By the final jam the Dead were down by six points. It was do or die, and the Dead do not roll over. Boney L’Ass burst through the pack to take the lead, while MVP Coop du Jour and soul-crushers Wilson, Newey & Improved, and Frigger Skater tore a page from the Jamazon playbook and forced a cutting penalty on Crazy Mama, who was promptly tossed into the box. Hammering another nail into the coffin, the Dead blockers then grabbed a goat while Boney racked ‘em up on a power jam.
But would it be enough? Crazy Mama was released to do her worst, while the clock ran down and the whistle blew to signal the end of the bout. All skaters were sent to their benches to wait, with bated breath, for the final tally…140 to 136 for THE SKATEFUL DEAD!