News and Bout Info

The Dead rise in Oakwood

The Skateful Dead travelled through rolling hills to the flat plains of Oakwood, Ontario, to go toe-stop to toe-stop (and sometimes elbow to face…oops) with the Peterborough Jamazons. It was a crowd-pleasing match, with the lead flipping like a stack of slam cakes.

The Jamazons were hard-hitting and some kind of fierce, knocking the Dead jammers out of bounds like cooked spaghetti and executing perfect strategy to force jammer cutting penalties. It took the Dead jammers a few jams to figure out how to penetrate the Jamazons’ formidable green wall of death, consisting of seasoned skaters Lucid Lou, Jaxalottapus, Lemon Tart, and MVP blocker Iggy Popper.

By the seventh jam, the Dead had a 24-point deficit, and while the scoreboard said they were down, they were never out. It was time to rise from the Dead. “Twenty-four points is nothing,” declared Boney L’ass, before stealing an outside-line pick meant for the opposing jammer and scooping points to narrow the gap. Caume-a-Kazi, in her fluid jamming style, followed suit by gliding by on the outside line on one foot to seize the lead, while Dead blockers Coop du Jour, Booty on Duty, The General, and No’Tori’ous Knockout held the Jamazon jammer. Game on.

The Jamazon’s jammers were forces to be reckoned with, too. MVP jammer Crazy Mama zigzagged across the track like a lightning bolt, and Pip Tatters stopped hearts everywhere when she jumped the apex at the first of the final whistles to steal four points from the Dead.

Undeterred, the Dead’s tornado walls recycled relentlessly, forcing the Jamazons to fight for every inch of track real estate. At any one time, fifty percent of Dead blockers were skating backwards so they could look those Jamazons right in the eye and watch for their own jammer, as Frigger Skater did, when she grabbed the front of CM Tower’s shirt and whipped her clear out of the pack. The shirt-whip was born.

By the final jam the Dead were down by six points. It was do or die, and the Dead do not roll over. Boney L’Ass burst through the pack to take the lead, while MVP Coop du Jour and soul-crushers Wilson, Newey & Improved, and Frigger Skater tore a page from the Jamazon playbook and forced a cutting penalty on Crazy Mama, who was promptly tossed into the box. Hammering another nail into the coffin, the Dead blockers then grabbed a goat while Boney racked ‘em up on a power jam.

But would it be enough? Crazy Mama was released to do her worst, while the clock ran down and the whistle blew to signal the end of the bout. All skaters were sent to their benches to wait, with bated breath, for the final tally…140 to 136 for THE SKATEFUL DEAD!

Dead Rogues: bringing out the best in all of us

This guest post is brought to you by WD Forte, who modestly did not mention that she was bench coaching in Alliston.

Back in September, KDG’s official season closer saw the Skateful Dead face off against the Rogue Warriors — a fierce and constant competition between two local teams. But the beauty of KDG is the camaraderie between skaters when not engaged in competition against each other. That camaraderie was evident on October 5 when a blended team — the Dead Rogues — went to Alliston to take on the Bombshell Battalion.

There were thoughts of having one line be Rogue, the other line be Dead, but coach for the Dead Rogues, Colin-the-Shots, wanted a truly blended team with both Dead and Rogue on the track at the same time. You’d think these women had been playing together for years, seeing the teamwork and skill on the track on Saturday. By the 8th jam, the score was pretty close at 38 to 36, but with a power jam in Alliston’s favour the score jumped to 81 to 40 by the 10th jam. Hard work and perseverance brought the score to a respectable 95 to 93 by halftime.

This game, much like the game in August between the Dead and the Battalion, was very close all the way through. Unlike the game in August though, the Dead Rogues pulled out a win with a final score of 148 to 180! It was a great last bout for the KDG skaters, and a true team-building experience.

Banger Management hits the road

Good luck to Disloyalist superstar Banger Management, hitting the road today to head to Guelph for the Team Ontario tryouts! For the first time, a team of some of the best players across Ontario is being formed to play at the highest level of the sport in this province. Several of our skaters are being kept from the tryouts by injury, sadly, but we’re happy to have Banger representing KDG in Guelph. Skate hard!

The Skateful Dead across the border

This is a guest post by Skateful Dead skater WD Forte.

July 20 marked the Border Bash and Rink Rash bout between the Black River Rollers and the Skateful Dead. The Dead are used to making more of an impact on their opponents than they did Saturday — the final score was 270 to 44 for the BRR.

Now that you’re slightly depressed, let me entertain you with some details of the bout, because in true Dead style, we put on a great show. The Dead drew first blood, and a power jam by TyKnee Smasher early in the first half was helpful, but the BRR defense proved very tough. Penalties were kept to a minimum for both teams, but BRR capitalized on a power jam midway through the first period. Dyke Spice recovered from a bone-crushing hit near the end of the period to deliver a ferocious check to BRR’s Shinigami less than a minute later.

Half-time started with the Dead doing a blood check — Newey And Improved had blood on her jersey so someone was hurt. It wasn’t Dead blood, though, so we continued with strategy revisions for the second half. The Dead’s spirits were still high and we celebrated any positive result, treating each jam as its own game and working on one victory at a time. Great defence by Newey and Fleetwood Smack in the second half, and the threesome of Frigger Skater, Careless Whips-her, and TyKnee Smasher nullified a BRR power jam. Skate at Home Mom took a serious hit near the end of the second half ago and went sailing through the air as her assailant went to the penalty box; we were relieved to see Skate get up, and brimmed with pride as she kept skating with everything left in her.

This game was a strong reminder to the Dead to keep working together, and over the next few weeks we will be brushing up our hard hits and strong strategies to bring you a game to remember on August 10 as we take on Alliston’s Bombshell Battalion at the Kingston Memorial Centre — don’t miss it!

- Forte

Disloyalists against the Dolly Rogers

This is a guest post by Disloyalist skater Manic Breeze.

We are playing amazingly well these days, with incredible endurance as well as the ability to hold opposing jammers in a perfect V formation, waterfall as needed, and bridge like it’s in our very nature. Our teamwork has improved spectacularly since the beginning of the season and I think we owe that in large part to our coach, Sly & the Family Jewels (you are freaking awesome, Bob!), who has patiently been guiding us through strategies for each common situation we might encounter. We have a system of offensive work off the start whistle, we have plays that jammers and line captains can call, sending the pack into finely tuned arcs to sweep or goat or basically create havoc. We are communicating and working together, we are crazy fast and powerful. In short, we are playing our best yet!

On July 6, the Disloyalists took on the Capital City Derby Dolls’ (CCDD) Dolly Rogers in Ottawa. It was more than 30 degrees in the building, and though we hydrated the &@$% out of ourselves and had a cooler with icy water and towels so we could revive ourselves as needed, we were bloody hot. We had sweat soaking through our shirts before the bout even started.

Though we are usually a second-half team, at this bout we started strong, executing strategies perfectly right from the first jam of the bout. Both teams’ jammers had trouble getting through the opposing defense. The Disloyalists generally played with three strong defensive blockers in a V and one designated offensive player, helping our jammers through the Dolly Rogers’ walls, and extremely tight truck & trailers*. Both teams were playing fast, controlled derby. It was a joyous game to watch, well-matched and well-fought with plenty of spirit and many spectacular moments.

I enjoyed Johnston’s moment of forcing a cut on the opposing team’s jammer off the start whistle, Luci Fleur throwing herself so hard at the jammer that she literally flew head over heels, Willard just continuously and tirelessly dragging jammers to the back of the pack, and Ker-Osene playing ferociously with huge, perfect hits.

I want to give big high-fives to the Dolly Rogers’ blocker Brennan, a player with ridiculous strength and incredible track awareness, and to their tiny jammer, Tank, for her explosive, bounding energy on the track.

At the end of the first half, it was 80 to 54 for the Dolly Rogers. In the second half we suffered from many a penalty; we were short at least one player in almost every jam, and so we succumbed to the domination of the Dolly Rogers, with a final score of 179 to 106 for them. I, for one, would love to take them on again — thanks for hosting us, CCDD!

The Disloyalists are playing again this weekend, at our home base at the Memorial Centre, on July 13th. Don’t miss your chance to see us bring all we’ve learned this season to the international arena in this bout against Port City!

* A truck and trailer is a strategy involving two teammates skate one directly in front of the other, with the front (truck) pulling the back (trailer): it can be an effective method of getting a jammer through a pack.

The Skateful Dead battle the Killer Queens

This is a guest post by the Skateful Dead’s Amanda Slug’n’Kiss.

On June 1st, The Skateful Dead travelled to Guelph to take on Royal City Roller Girls’ Killer Queens in the second bout of the Guelph league’s season opener at the Sleeman Centre. We could hardly contain our excitement, since for some of the Dead this was our first travel game and, for many others, their second bout ever! Sporting our new black uniforms, we surveyed the track and eyed our opponents, whose roster borrowed heavily from The Brute-Leggers, RCRG’s travel team. There we spotted the likes of the impassable Lady Gore-Jess and the incredibly disturbing Mangles the Clown.

The first period saw the Dead bogged down by penalties as we adjusted to the officiating and the Killer Queens ran up the score. But the second period saw a new Dead, focused and determined to leave it all on the track. Here I must acknowledge the amazing leadership of coach Colin-the-Shots, as it was definitely his half-time words that relieved us of our frustrations and renewed our confidence.

With solid jamming by our own relentless Skate at Home Mom and TyKnee Smasher, smart plays by superstar pivots Newey and Improved and Careless Whips’Her, and killer blocks by the terrifying Dyke Spice, borrowed Rogue eff ewe, and CM Tower, we steadily chipped away at the Queens’ lead. A special shout out to Frigger Skater, whose agility and timing were unparalleled, and to Boney L’Ass for her endless positive energy. It was a fast game and, as every single player pulled out everything they had, the Queens began to tire. But it wasn’t enough to catch up and with the final jam over you could hardly tell the Dead had lost with a final score of 179 to 101 for the Queens. Instantly and in a flurry of sweaty hugs arose an exhausted yet blissfully happy chorus of “WE’RE NUMBER TWO, WE’RE NUMBER TWO, WE’RE NUMBER TWO!” Never has a loss been so sweet.

I could wax poetic about the endless virtues of each and every one of my teammates both on and off the track but, in the words of our mighty co-captain Timbit, “You all are awesome, strong and fierce women,” and I think we really proved this to ourselves. It was a great experience and we learned a ton! I am so very proud of these ladies and to be Dead.

A special thanks to all of our friends and family who came to cheer us on and reported the game back home for us! It was so very great to have you along. Also, to RCRG for showing us a great time, for letting us camp on your lawn, for your great sportsmanship and, yes, for providing not one, but two awesome afterparties — and those I think it’s fair to say we won!

- Slugs

[Action shots courtesy of Lance Hardwood Photos. Thanks Lance!]

Disloyalists take on top-ranked team in Canada

This is a guest post by Disloyalist triple threat Manic Breeze.

At the beginning of the 2013 season, the Disloyalists made a decision to play fierce and difficult teams, to get our a**es kicked so that we might improve in skill, endurance, and strategy. On May 25th, in Ottawa, we took on the highest-ranked home team in Canada, the Slaughter Daughters. On top of this ranking spot, the SD also hold the champion title for major Montreal tournament Beast of the East, and roster two players (Soul Rekker and Semi Precious) who were part of Team Canada at the Derby World Cup in 2011. All in all, the Slaughter Daughters are a terrifying force of awesomeness for us to have pitted ourselves against.

What was the score, you ask? They won, with a final score of 328 to 87. Now that may sound like a total blowout, and I guess it was. But I feel like we played amazingly well, and I think I speak for all of the Disloyalists when I say I am ecstatic with this result. If you are a stats nerd, then it’ll excite you to hear that according to Rollergirl rankings, we scored a ratio of 7:26 (we scored 7 points for every 26 they scored), as opposed to the expected ratio of 7:41. That is 182 game points short of the expected ratio. Basically, we are totally amazing!

Beyond numbers, it was a blast. Before the bout started, we cheered internally that they didn’t expect us to be ferocious, powerful creatures, and I think we kept that feeling alive throughout the course of the competition. Though we faced an entire team of tireless, deking players, each as agile and hard-hitting as the next, whose jammers jumped the apex on us TWICE, we played our own game and stuck with our strategy. Special mentions to Luci Fleur for all of her waterfalling and chasing, Vincent for forcing cutting penalties, Queen Blitz for offensive work off the line, and Banger Management and Vagina Dentata for blocking like they block. Big high fives to LaVallee of the Dolls for scoring the first point of the game in the first jam.

Thanks to Colin-the-Shots and Knit Whip from the Skateful Dead for coming out to support us as bench manager and blocker! I would also like to underline how grateful I am to coach Sly for his work with us, in the preceding months as well as at this challenging bout. He is a smart, dedicated and encouraging coach and I can see our team improving quickly as a result of this support.

With love for this sport,
Manic Breeze

[Photos by and courtesy of Wojciech Kozlowski. Thanks Wojciech!]

The Skills Competition, as told by Manic

This is a guest post by Disloyalist triple threat Manic Breeze.

On Sunday night, Banger Management and I arrived at the Ancaster Fairground outside of Hamilton for the first ever Ontario Skills Competition, put on by Rollerbug and Los Coños Roller Derby of Hamilton. We were full of anticipation as we put on our gear and looked around the track to size up our competition.
A plethora of fine, powerful womyn were there to represent eight leagues and fourteen teams, including (to my fear and excitement) Motorhead Molly and Killson, who both played for Team Canada in the Roller Derby World Cup in 2011. Other names were new to me, and now I can add Sofanda Beatin’ (Vicious Dishes) and Bruiseberry Pie (CN Power) to the list of womyn who dazzle and terrify me. There were 28 skaters total, one jammer and one pivot per team.
There were five events to determine which league would come away with the coveted golden peach, symbolizing the best roller derby skills in Ontario! Check out the video here to see the events explained in greater detail.
Only one player could represent her team for each of four events: a one-lap sprint, a five-lap full-contact sprint, a scrum start competition, and an obstacle course. All 28 skaters at the competition got to participate in the final showdown, a last-woman-standing event. Banger Management and I had talked about dividing the events according to our skill sets, but the event planners threw a wrench in our plans by having us draw straws to see whether the jammer or pivot would represent in the scrum start event. Unfortunately for us, we drew the jammer straw, and I lost by a hair, trying to get past four phenomenal blockers in 20 seconds. This meant, for us, that Banger would compete in the obstacle course.
In the end, it was great that the fateful straw was pulled to put me in the scrum start contest, leaving Banger to work some magic among the obstacles. There were fourteen skaters, each representing a team, who competed one-on-one, working against the clock to move on to the next round. The biggest issue skaters had in this event was control. Skaters were moving frantically to keep their speed up. As soon as they messed up one obstacle (if you knocked a bar down as you jumped it, you had to reset the bar and re-do the jump), they lost a lot of time. They could only make up their time if their opponent made a similar mistake. Banger moved fluidly through each round, with careful control and determination, and a solid display of jumping, diving, weaving, and hitting skills. It was a beautiful thing to watch! She came out on top in this event, winning our team 50 points! Banger, you are a proficient athlete and you made me so proud to be on your team!
Banger also competed in the five-lap full-contact sprint, making it through the first 2 rounds, and scoring us 20 points.
I competed for the Disloyalists in the one-lap sprint. There were 14 jammers skating in this contest, and I looked around at the experienced, long-legged, and muscular womyn around me and laughed inwardly, reminding myself that that I was here for fun. To my amazement, I beat the first jammer I was against…and then the second…and the third, and suddenly everyone else had been eliminated besides me and Killson! What? I was in the finals!? We raced, and the refs didn’t know who crossed their line first. So we lined up again, and I took some deep breaths, and stared the ref down, steadying myself with the thought that I was going to make my win obvious to him this time. The room seemed deadly quiet and I was in some sort of elevated state as the whistle blew. I pushed myself, lactic acid flooding my leg muscles — I won! 50 more points for the Disloyalists!
The final event included all 28 skaters, and the teams played strategically, working with their partner (and sometimes creating alliances with their whole league), avoiding hits, steering clear of catastrophes like the one Banger and I got eliminated in (at the exact same moment, we both fell!). Three full songs played as the numbers dwindled. The Total Knock-Outs took the win in this event, with both skaters remaining standing after all the other teams had fallen.
All in all, we came in third place at 120 points. It was an honour to compete against these adroit and talented skaters, and to get to represent KDG in this thrilling Skills Competition! Big ups to the Venus Fly Tramps, who took the victory at 160 points.

- Manic

July already??

Whew! It’s been a whirlwind of a summer for the Kingston Derby Girls so far. Our calendar’s been jam packed! On June 16, the Rogue Warriors hosted the hard-hitting (and super lovely) Oz Rollergirls, in from Oswego, New York. It’s always great to play the girls from Oz — as you may recall, the Skateful Dead played them back in April — because they’re just so darn nice. Sure, they tend to win… a little… but hey, the Rogue Warriors didn’t let it get them down. They came away from the loss having tried their best, learned a lot, and had a ton of fun!

On June 23, the Disloyalists faced off against Royal City Roller Girls’ Brute-Leggers for a game that was easily the nail biter of the century! After a hell of a fight on both sides, the Brute-Leggers narrowly (and we mean narrowly) eked out a win with a score of 145-137. Want a little taste of this amazing game? Check out just under five minutes of it here.

What’s up next for your favourite derby girls? Lots of hot and sweaty practices (hi there, July) leading up to our next bouts: a hometown double-header on July 14 (get your tickets early — this floor-only night will sell out fast!) and an away game for the Disloyalists against the formidable RVRG Riot Squad on July 21. Now things are really heating up!

Rogues on the road

KDG’s Rogue Warriors hit the highway last weekend for their first away game of the season, and brought some amazing skill and strategy, along with KDG’s indomitable spirit (and rowdy fans), to the nation’s capital. Their formidable opponents were Capital City Derby Dolls’ Dolly Rogers. It was a hard-hitting and intense bout, and the Rogues’ roster was, of course, packed with strong skaters. The Dolly Rogers took the lead early on and never relinquished it, but the Rogues never gave up, playing hard throughout the entire game, and showcasing some amazing jamming (one 24-point jam!), and powerhouse blocking. The final score was 232-82 for the Dolly Rogers – well-earned by the CCDD team, and well-fought by our Rogue Warriors.

No rest for the wicked, of course, and the Rogues are now warming up for their battle with Oswego, New York’s Oz Roller Girls on Saturday, June 16th at the Memorial Centre. This is the second KDG game this year against Oswego, so don’t miss the action as the Rogues try to settle the score following Oswego’s win over the Skateful Dead in March!