Are we ever feeling popular. Just last week we had a visit from the incomparable Francey Pants, MVP for Team France at 2011′s World Cup, and tonight we’re playing host to analyst, commentator, and Bay Street Bruisers coach The Derby Nerd. The Nerd has visited us before, guest announcing with Dr. Sneaks for last year’s season closer Back to Cruel 3, and we are stoked to work on our jam starts and jam kills under his expert tutelage. Few people in Canada know derby like the Derby Nerd knows derby!

This is a guest post by Rogue Warrior Deus Ex Smashin’ Ya.

I told you that you’d be sorry if you missed this one.

Saturday night at the M-Centre, Peterborough’s Smooth Operators played hard all night long. Rogue blockers were sweating buckets trying to keep determined skaters like Birdie and Yura Deadman safely behind our walls. We kept it slow and stuck together together, but still ended up watching Axel S power through us to skate some MVP-quality jams, And we died inside — just a little — every time Unalish’d jumped the apex on us. Those Smooth Operators were hitting heavy too, at every opportunity. Juniper Hill consistently delivered teeth-rattling checks that had the Rogue jammers squawking for backup, and wondering what the heck happened to their jammer helper. The score may have been 189 to 23 for the Rogues at halftime, but the Rogues weren’t exactly feeling like they’d just taken a stroll in the park.

With a comfortable spread, thanks to solid efforts from jammers Nikki Heat, Kimminent Danger, and Rogue-for-the-night Saragorn, we Rogues were excited to stretch our legs in the second half. We committed to working on some of our newer moves, playing around with some trickier footwork, and taking the opportunity to play some fresh jammers. Zesty Enterprise had been pining for that jammer panty, and eff ewe has clearly been practicing her moves. Frieda Frankenstorm grinned the whole way ’round the track, as per usual, and I was just pleased not to barf after (or during) my inaugural jam. Meanwhile Violet Von Tramp, Fate Tempter, and Flaming Hips held it down on the track, and they had their work cut out for them. The Smooth Operators came out with everything they had in the second half, scoring more than double their first-half points. Even after Captain Max Ammo took a bad bounce and had to be escorted off to the hospital in the derby-girl limousine (the one with the flashing lights and sirens) the Smooth Operators were focused and determined. Those derby ladies showed some damn fine sportsmanship. The last jam felt just as fierce as the first, and I couldn’t believe it had been two minutes when the whistle blew. 349 to 72 and we all could have gone a couple more jams.

The Rogue Warriors may be 2-0 this season, but we didn’t get here alone. Coaches Glitter Bomb and Reba Smackintire have been whipping us into shape, despite our complaints, and ABS Bootcamp’s Brian Derbyshire has been teaching us the meaning of pain. We’ve been privileged to work with some amazing guest trainers at our league practices, most recently the super-fantastique Sandrine “Francey Pants” Rangeon, who gave us something to aspire to. Most importantly, there is a whole legion of KDGers who’ve never even donned skates, but work their butts of to keep bout nights running smoothly. We’re sending you some Rogue Warrior love and gratitude. We’re also practicing hard to make you proud when June 22nd rolls around, and we’ll be playing our toughest opponents yet. Durham Region Roller Derby’s Atom Smashers are no wide-eyed freshies, and I can almost hear them popping their knuckles in anticipation.

Bring it. Lets do this, Rogues.

- Deus

This bout preview is a guest post by Rogue skater Deus ex Smashin’ Ya.

This Saturday, June 8th, Kingston’s own Rogue Warriors are taking on the Smooth Operators from Peterborough’s Area 705 Roller Derby. Doors open at 5:30, whistle at 6:30, at Kingston’s Memorial Centre (303 York Street). Bring your chairs and see if you can restrain yourself from hurling them on the track, because this bout is going to get heated. The 705s are determined to win this one after losing a hard-fought battle against the Decapulettes from Stratford in May. From rookie Rainbow Crash to league veteran Axel S, these skaters will show no mercy.

But the Rogue Warriors are undefeated this season, and aiming to keep it that way. After a nail-biter on May 4th against hometown rivals the Skateful Dead, they’ve been honing their skills, eating their veggies, and cross-training like demons. Poster girl Nikki Heat is planning on reminding us that she’s more than a pretty face, Princess RedNek is going to teach her old Peterborough teammates a few new Rogue tricks, and Bluestocking is looking forward to putting her theories into practice as she plays a visiting team for the first time.

This single-bout evening is going to be intense and intimate. With only 500 seats available, you’d better be safe rather than sorry by getting your tickets now. Ask your favourite KDGer, pick up your tickets at Get Funky, The Mansion, Novel Idea, Blossoms Kingston, and the UPS Store, or buy online. If you miss this action-packed Saturday night, you might as well stay home and stare into the abyss.

The horror… the horror…

This is a guest post by the Skateful Dead’s Amanda Slug’n'Kiss.

On June 1st, The Skateful Dead travelled to Guelph to take on Royal City Roller Girls’ Killer Queens in the second bout of the Guelph league’s season opener at the Sleeman Centre. We could hardly contain our excitement, since for some of the Dead this was our first travel game and, for many others, their second bout ever! Sporting our new black uniforms, we surveyed the track and eyed our opponents, whose roster borrowed heavily from The Brute-Leggers, RCRG’s travel team. There we spotted the likes of the impassable Lady Gore-Jess and the incredibly disturbing Mangles the Clown.

The first period saw the Dead bogged down by penalties as we adjusted to the officiating and the Killer Queens ran up the score. But the second period saw a new Dead, focused and determined to leave it all on the track. Here I must acknowledge the amazing leadership of coach Colin-the-Shots, as it was definitely his half-time words that relieved us of our frustrations and renewed our confidence.

With solid jamming by our own relentless Skate at Home Mom and TyKnee Smasher, smart plays by superstar pivots Newey and Improved and Careless Whips’Her, and killer blocks by the terrifying Dyke Spice, borrowed Rogue eff ewe, and CM Tower, we steadily chipped away at the Queens’ lead. A special shout out to Frigger Skater, whose agility and timing were unparalleled, and to Boney L’Ass for her endless positive energy. It was a fast game and, as every single player pulled out everything they had, the Queens began to tire. But it wasn’t enough to catch up and with the final jam over you could hardly tell the Dead had lost with a final score of 179 to 101 for the Queens. Instantly and in a flurry of sweaty hugs arose an exhausted yet blissfully happy chorus of “WE’RE NUMBER TWO, WE’RE NUMBER TWO, WE’RE NUMBER TWO!” Never has a loss been so sweet.

I could wax poetic about the endless virtues of each and every one of my teammates both on and off the track but, in the words of our mighty co-captain Timbit, “You all are awesome, strong and fierce women,” and I think we really proved this to ourselves. It was a great experience and we learned a ton! I am so very proud of these ladies and to be Dead.

A special thanks to all of our friends and family who came to cheer us on and reported the game back home for us! It was so very great to have you along. Also, to RCRG for showing us a great time, for letting us camp on your lawn, for your great sportsmanship and, yes, for providing not one, but two awesome afterparties — and those I think it’s fair to say we won!

- Slugs

[Action shots courtesy of Lance Hardwood Photos. Thanks Lance!]

After an exciting and extremely challenging accelerated fresh meat camp, KDG is excited to welcome several new skaters to our ranks. The Disloyalists have drafted Willard, the Rogue Warriors have gained Red Nasty and former KDG official Trace of Terror, and the Skateful Dead are welcoming Bombinatrix and Fleetwood Smack. Watch for these new, but not fresh, Kingston Derby Girls at KDG’s upcoming bouts. Looking forward to skating with our new teammates!

This is a guest post by Disloyalist triple threat Manic Breeze.

At the beginning of the 2013 season, the Disloyalists made a decision to play fierce and difficult teams, to get our a**es kicked so that we might improve in skill, endurance, and strategy. On May 25th, in Ottawa, we took on the highest-ranked home team in Canada, the Slaughter Daughters. On top of this ranking spot, the SD also hold the champion title for major Montreal tournament Beast of the East, and roster two players (Soul Rekker and Semi Precious) who were part of Team Canada at the Derby World Cup in 2011. All in all, the Slaughter Daughters are a terrifying force of awesomeness for us to have pitted ourselves against.

What was the score, you ask? They won, with a final score of 328 to 87. Now that may sound like a total blowout, and I guess it was. But I feel like we played amazingly well, and I think I speak for all of the Disloyalists when I say I am ecstatic with this result. If you are a stats nerd, then it’ll excite you to hear that according to Rollergirl rankings, we scored a ratio of 7:26 (we scored 7 points for every 26 they scored), as opposed to the expected ratio of 7:41. That is 182 game points short of the expected ratio. Basically, we are totally amazing!

Beyond numbers, it was a blast. Before the bout started, we cheered internally that they didn’t expect us to be ferocious, powerful creatures, and I think we kept that feeling alive throughout the course of the competition. Though we faced an entire team of tireless, deking players, each as agile and hard-hitting as the next, whose jammers jumped the apex on us TWICE, we played our own game and stuck with our strategy. Special mentions to Luci Fleur for all of her waterfalling and chasing, Vincent for forcing cutting penalties, Queen Blitz for offensive work off the line, and Banger Management and Vagina Dentata for blocking like they block. Big high fives to LaVallee of the Dolls for scoring the first point of the game in the first jam.

Thanks to Colin-the-Shots and Knit Whip from the Skateful Dead for coming out to support us as bench manager and blocker! I would also like to underline how grateful I am to coach Sly for his work with us, in the preceding months as well as at this challenging bout. He is a smart, dedicated and encouraging coach and I can see our team improving quickly as a result of this support.

With love for this sport,
Manic Breeze

[Photos by and courtesy of Wojciech Kozlowski. Thanks Wojciech!]

Derby fans old and new streamed into the Memorial Centre on Saturday for the first derby bout of the season in Kingston, May the Fourth Be With You. All three KDG teams took the track, beginning with the Disloyalists taking on Toronto’s G-Stars. The travel team bout was hard-fought and things did not look good for the Disloyalists going into the second half, with the GTARollergirls team ahead 103 to 46. But the ladies in blue looked like a different team in the second half, avoiding some of the penalties that cost them in the first half and staging an impressive comeback. Manic Breeze had the crowd on their feet with a 32-point power jam that took the Disloyalists to within closing distance. Unfortunately, it was not quite enough, and the G-Stars took the game 193 to 171.

The second bout, a home-team showdown between KDG rivals the Rogue Warriors and the Skateful Dead, was neck and neck from beginning to end. The Skateful Dead wore red bridal veils during their warm-up and intros in honour of team member Dyke Spice, who wed her fiancee (and KDG alumna) that afternoon. Both teams were showcasing new players, all of whom made impressive contributions to their teams. With several lead changes in the first half, the Skateful Dead seemed to be dominating and the Rogues struggled to pull ahead. In the second half, Rogue jammers showed exceptional endurance against fierce Dead blocking; the Rogues took the lead and wound down the clock in a final power jam for the win, with a final score of 155 to 135.

THANK YOU to all our volunteers, refs, and NSOs, as well as our sponsors. We couldn’t play roller derby without you all.

KDG was extremely grateful to have so many amazing fans come out — the derby love continues to grow in this city and we love our fans right back. Mark your calendars for our next home bout, Apocalypse…Pow! on June 8 at the Memorial Centre. The Rogue Warriors will be taking on Area 705 Roller Derby from Peterborough. See you then!

Three years ago tonight, the very first Kingston Derby Girls laced up their rollerskates at the Memorial Centre for the very first practice. Those first few months were a trial, with more injuries than we care to think about, and the slow dawning of the knowledge that no one in Kingston actually knew how to play roller derby.

How far we have come in just three years, baby!

These days, our newest players understand the game far better than our most knowledgeable players did then. Many of those now-veteran skaters are still with us, and many talented new skaters have joined us along the way. We now have three amazing, skillful teams competing with each other and other teams across the province and internationally, and we are exploring the possibility of applying to become a WFTDA league to compete at an even higher level. We skate safe and we skate strong. We have players who have showcased KDG’s awesomeness at the Ontario Roller Derby Skills Competition, we have earned the respect of the Derby Nerd, and this season we’re playing against such formidable opponents as this past weekend’s Beast of the East champions, the Slaughter Daughters. The Kingston Derby Girls are on the Canadian roller derby map and our star continues to rise. We do not apologize for the mixed metaphors. Happy, happy birthday to Kingston’s first and greatest roller derby league; long may KDG continue to grow and thrive.

If you’ve got skates, you’ve got skills, and you’ve got attitude, Kingston Derby Girls want you. We are excited to announce that KDG is going to run a Smash Squad over the course of the 2013 season. We are looking for track-ready skaters who want to take their minimum skills, be part of a Smash Squad, learn to rock the flat track, and become the future Kingston Derby Girls. If you are ready to join this first KDG Smash Squad, download this info sheet to find out everything you need to know! Registration nights are April 30th and May 7th, so act quickly if you are ready to be a derby girl! Still have questions? Email Skate at Home Mom to get yer answers!

The KDG website is in the middle of an update, so if you happen to be looking up your favourite derby girl and find that her photo has gone missing or that the teams pages look a little messed up, please forgive us! We’re putting up all kinds of great new stuff, including brand new headshots, group photos, and bios, but the process is a little time-consuming and derby girls aren’t known for having a ton of spare time (we practice a lot). So please pardon any website inconsistencies or absences you catch while we get this update finished. You can always find the most important stuff, such as information about our season opener on May 4th or our bout schedule, as easily as ever.