News and Bout Info

Hitmas in July

Gather your friends and family and grab a cup of cheer as the Kingston Derby Girls gear up for Hitmas in July at the Kingston Memorial Centre.

KDG has a sleigh full of goodies for you! First on Santa’s naughty list are KDG’s Disloyalists vs. Orangeville’s Pulp Affliction, followed by Toronto Men’s Roller Derby vs. Ottawa’s Men’s Roller Derby Slaughter Squad. There will be plenty of hip-cracking and Christmas ball-smashing action— enough to resurrect the Roller Derby Spirit of Hitmas Past.

Danger zone seating is available, so bring your own chairs to share the season’s best wishes with your favourite skaters. Be sure to borrow and wear Aunt Myrtle’s Christmas sweater for a chance to win a free ticket to the next home bout!

When: Saturday, July 18, 2015
Where: Kingston Memorial Centre

Doors open at 5:30, first whistle is at 6:30.

Tickets are available for $10 at the door, or online through Brown Paper Tickets. Kids 10 and under are free!

SCAR WARS: Co-ed roller derby is coming to Kingston!

Alert all commands, Kingston! You only have four more chances to see your favourite hard-shell, roller skating humans in action at the Memorial Centre this year.

KDG explodes onto the track with Scar Wars—a double-header of galactic proportions. Who will get locked in a carbon-freeze? Only Yoda knows. But by the Emperor’s black heart, there will be hip-cracking, wall-smashing forces at play. Come, you must!

First to fly are the Skateful Dead vs. the ORD Bytown Blackhearts, followed by a surprise you don’t want to miss!

The second half of the night sees the debut of co-ed roller derby in Kingston. In this bout, men and women together will lace up their skates together for a full 60 minutes of full-contact derby. Expect to see a fast and hard game with strength and skill from all of our mixed players –men are likely to have strong skating skills due to the prevalence of boys with hockey backgrounds, and men tend to hit with their shoulders due to a higher centre of gravity. Female players are likely to have the advantages of experience, technique and track awareness.

At half-time, a fantastic band presented in partnership with the Skeleton Park Arts Festival will rock the Memorial Centre and give a foretaste of the musical delights to come at Skeleton Park the following weekend. Two amazing games and one amazing band will make this an evening not to be missed!

Suicide seating is available, so bring your own chairs to lock lightsabers with your favourite skaters.

When: Saturday, June 13, 2015
Where: Kingston Memorial Centre

Doors open at 5:30, first whistle is at 6:30.

Tickets are available for $10 at the door, or online through Brown Paper Tickets. Kids 10 and under are free!

Beast of the East 2015- A Cinderella Story

This write-up brought to you by CM Tower

This past weekend at Beast of the East—Eastern Canada’s biggest home team roller derby tournament—The Skateful Dead did the unthinkable. They were, in the Derby Nerd’s words “bracket busters.” Not even the incomparable Derby Nerd could predict that The Skateful Dead would make it to the quarter finals, placing in the top eight of 16 teams invited to take part in the tournament of the year.

As far as The Skateful Dead were concerned, it was a victory just to be invited to play at Beast. It was a humbling beginning, though. In the first bout, The Dead were trounced by Quebec’s lightning fast Rouge & Gore, 130-25. Shaking off the loss, they went on to defeat TORD’s Death Track Dolls—a team expected to make it to the top eight—to the crowd’s astonishment and delight. Skateful Dead 80, Dolls 48.

Everyone loves an underdog. Fuelled by the crowd’s well-wishes, the Skateful Dead defeated La Racaille—a hometown team—in a heart-stopping, lead-flipping 77-59 match that landed them in the quarter finals.

“Montreal loves a Cinderella story,” proclaimed infamous announcer, Plastik Patrik, to The Skateful Dead’s coach Keith El Kapitan Hotte.” “How do you explain this?”
“These women play with heart….” said El Kapitan. “They love and respect each other.” But the love didn’t stop there. After the defeat of La Racaille, the Dead had stolen the hearts of the crowd.

In a quarter-final match, The Dead went on to play RVRG’s Slaughter Daughters in, said fans, “one of the most exciting games of the tournament,” narrowly losing by 10 points. But to the Dead, it still felt like a win, and they celebrated alongside the Slaughter Daughters as the final score of 88-78 was posted.

“Oh my goodness!” said Dr. Sneaks, the announcer of the final match of The Skateful Dead’s Beast debut. “It doesn’t get more exciting than that…. The Skateful Dead have got to be the darlings of this tournament.” And so they were.

Beast of the East- This Weekend in Montreal!

This year, KDG’s very own Skateful Dead was selected to participate in MTL Roller Derby’s eighth annual Beast of the East tournament! Our skaters and coaches are hitting the road today en-route for Montreal, where they will battle home teams from all over eastern Canada. Best of luck KDG, knock em DEAD!

Shove at First Sight- Don’t Miss KDG’s 2015 Home Opener!

It’s roller derby season again, and you only have five chances to see your favourite quad-skating human wall-breakers in action at the Memorial Centre this year.

Love is in the air as the Kingston Derby Girls embrace their fifth season with Shove at First Sight—a double-header of heart-rending proportions. First to fall hard are CCDD’s Dolly Rogers at the hands of the Disloyalists, followed by a deadly tryst between CCDD’s Dollinquents and the Skateful Dead.

Don’t even think of jilting the hometown favourites—swear you’ll get to the arena on time.

When: Saturday, May 2, 2015
Where: Kingston Memorial Centre
Doors open at 5:30; first whistle at 6:30.

Suicide seating is available, so bring your own chair to cozy up with your favourite skating sweethearts..

Tickets are available for $10 at the door, or online through
Kids 10 and under are free


We Be Trippin’ (to Orangeville, Ontario!)

Written by Mary Helmer & Kaume-A-Kazi

On Saturday, March 7th 2015, the Kingston Derby Girls embarked on their first road trip of the season to participate in The Boys and Girls Clubbing one-day tournament hosted in Orangeville, Ontario by the Orangeville Roller Girls and Toronto Men’s Roller Derby. Participants included 4 women’s teams and 2 men’s teams. This tournament saw KDG’s Disloyalists take on Orangeville’s Pulp Affliction and the GTA Rollergirls’ G-Stars in two back-to-back, action-packed bouts.

First up was the bout against Pulp Affliction, where our Disloyalists took first blood and the early lead. The first half saw some great teamwork, however despite a  strong start the girls headed to the change room on the lower end of the scoreboard. After regrouping at during half-time, KDG’s warriors in blue came back out with a fighting spirit and rallied to keep ORG at bay throughout the entire second half. The final score of the game was  Pulp Affliction-228 Disloyalists-141, with the lovely Coop Du Jour taking the MVP award.

A mere hour later, the Disloyalists were back at it on the track, warming up to take on the G-Stars. As with the first bout, KDG stole the lead. Unfortunately,  a number of injuries occurring in the second half brought the roster down to a mere 9 players, causing coaches Princess Redneck, Mr. Management, and El Kapitain to make the incredibly tough decision to call the game. Tyknee Smasher was named MVP, and the final score was 195-66 for the G-Stars.

Overall, the tournament was an amazing day of derby, which saw the Disloyalists girls playing two, three, and as many as five jams in a row. There were many spectacular feats, including fast, fierce jams, strong secure walls, and some awe-inspiring blocker/jammer sandwiches! The Disloyalists played with class and strength. Despite being small in numbers, they were mighty! An impressive start to the season, if I do say so myself.


Photo Courtesy of Tonkabell


Facing off in Orangeville

Wishing our Disloyalist ladies luck today as they represent the Kingston Derby Girls in “The Boys and Girls Clubbing Spring Invitational”  in Orangeville. They’ll first be taking on the Orangeville Roller Girls’ Pulp Affliction, followed by a bout against GTA Rollergirls’ G-Stars in this round-robin tournament.   All the best to our players and coaches participating in KDG’s first bout of the season!

The Boys and Girls Clubbing

Fresh Meat Camp 2015!

If you’re looking to try something new, improve your fitness, or meet new people, you’re not going to find a better way to do all three than joining roller derby! Now is your chance to join the Kingston Derby Girls in 2015.

We will be holding an info session & pre-registration night on Thursday, November 27th 2014  7-9 PM at the Mansion (506 Princess Street). An additional registration night will take place on Thursday, December 11th 2014  7-9 PM at the same location.

Don’t miss your opportunity to be a Kingston Derby Girl! Our Fresh Meat Committee members will be on hand to answer any questions and accept your registration forms and payment for our 2015 camp. The camp runs for 15 weeks (from January to April) and will teach you the skills and strategies necessary to play roller derby. No skating experience required! The cost is $160, including insurance, and you must supply all your own gear. Any questions, please email We hope to see you there!

KDG goes Back to Cruel — tomorrow!

Don’t miss the Biggest. The Best. The Most. The GREATEST night of roller derby in Kingston. It’s the fifth anniversary of Back to Cruel and you’ve never seen anything like it! First up, your hometown Disloyalists take on the Timber Rollers from London, Ontario. Last year these two teams battled for blood, and the Disloyalists took the win. This year, the Timber Rollers are coming for vengeance. Then, in the annual Battle for the Boot, the Skateful Dead will be defending the home team championship against the Rogue Warriors. Both teams will leave everything they have on the track. If you’re only going to make it to one derby game this year, this is the one to be at! (It’s also your very last chance until 2015.) See you tomorrow…it’s Back to Cruel!

Dear everyone.

Skate at Home MomThe 2014 season will be my last with KDG, and as the days fly by leading up to our fifth anniversary game, I can’t help but reflect on my time with this league, which has been such an integral part of me for so long. As I look back, I am filled with so much gratitude for all those who have made the past five years some of the best of my life, and I hope you’ll bear with me while I take a moment to appreciate those people.

Thank you first and foremost to my kids, who have involuntarily lent me out to this sport and this league for a staggering portion of 2009 through 2014. I don’t know that my youngest son even remembers a me without derby, but I do know that they have remained my staunchest supporters, through rushed dinners, ad-hoc babysitting arrangements, whirlwind trips to away games, “just one more email”s too many to count, fetching me things and learning to slow down when I broke my leg, and cheering me on when I put my skates back on following my injury. They’re sad to see me leave the league, but as my eldest enters his teenage years, I see how the years, months, days, and moments fly by and I want to enjoy the time I have with these two wonderful humans to the fullest.

Thank you to my mother, who has been to every game she could possibly attend, listened to countless hours of derby discussion, talked up our league and our sport everywhere she goes, and supported me in every single way she could (and there have been many) over the past five years.

Thank you more times than I can say to Kristi, my favourite skater in the universe, my partner on and off the track, who has talked me through a gazillion derby decisions and ideas, waited patiently while I waded through hundreds of emails post-meeting and pre-game, brought me ice packs, checked my pupils, fed me pizza, and loved and cared for me perfectly all around.

Thanks to my incredibly passionate, committed, and talented co-founder and dear friend, LaVallee of the Dolls. This league would not exist without her, and she made the past five years possible: both on the track and off. At my most exhausted, discouraged and burnt-out times, she was always the one to look me in the eye and say, “Pull it together. Your league needs you. You got this.” She has been my derby rock since long before Day One.

Thank you to the 66 brave and trusting women who lined up at our first registration and showed us in no uncertain terms that Kingston was ready for roller derby. This league has accomplished  amazing things every single year, but I know everyone who was there will agree that 2010 was something magical and I am so grateful that every single one of those 66 women was part of it.

Thank you to the directors who have sat on our board through league structure changes, shifts in direction, conflict, celebration, new teams, new leagues, transitions in skaters, coaches, volunteers… we weathered a lot of storms and I have such respect for every person who has accepted a nomination, and for those who have sat on the board to ensure that the big picture and long-term survival of the league is always at top of mind.

Thank you to the coaches and team-mates who showed me – a total rookie to any sport, let alone a team sport – how to train my body to do things I never thought it could do, how to accept feedback and learn from it, how to trust and depend on other people, how to put my team first while constantly pushing myself to be the best I can be. You’ve all taught me so much about teamwork, strength, and persistence – skills that are transferable to every aspect of life.

Thank you to all the skaters who taught me so much about group dynamics, running a non-profit sports league, how to keep going with this dream of a Kingston derby league even when things were really hard, both in and outside of derby.

Thank you to the intrepid PMS (Promotions, Media, Sponsorship) Committee who entrusted me for several years with the role of head of Media, which forced (I mean, allowed) me to get over my terror of speaking in public or on the record… Turns out when you have something you love and believe in more than anything it’s not so hard to talk about it to any sized group of people.

Thank you to every skater who has come up to me and told me your story of what derby has meant to you and how it has changed your life. Everyone’s story is different, and the same, and every single one moves me to tears. Every time. I know this sport has changed my life for the better and I am always so happy to hear others say the same. It makes my heart swell.

Thank you to our tireless volunteers: coaches, NSOs, refs, who do all the work without the glory of getting to play in the games – KDG would not be turning five without your selfless devotion. Thank you. And thank you again.

Thank you to our annual batch of freshies, who bring a much-appreciated injection of enthusiasm and excitement to our league every year. It was a privilege to be part of the fresh meat coaching team for a couple of years – you all re-ignited my love for derby with every single practice.

Thank you to all of my “civilian” friends who have stuck with me while I pursued this time- and mind-consuming passion – I can’t wait to see more of each and every one of you once my schedule returns to a normal pace.

Thank you to the Kingston community for helping to make my dream come true and coming out and supporting us at game after game – it is the biggest reward of all to see people filling the stands and getting to know and love the sport like we all do.

A huge thank you to all those skaters who will be back next year and continuing to make sure this league is a going concern in another five years. I have all the faith in the world that KDG will thrive in your committed, skilled, and powerful hands.

Thank you to each and every one of you for sharing your time, your skill, your passion, and your commitment with this league. I am honoured to have been part of it and I can’t wait to cheer myself hoarse from the suicide seats next year and beyond.

All sentimental reflection aside now – I’d better see you all September 6th for our fifth annual Back to Cruel – it’s gonna be a good one.

Skate at Home Mom